Trilogy Week #52 - Killer Christmas

What's the worst that could happen on one the happiest times of the year. Certainly there wouldn't be anything bad like murder happening, everyone will be at home with their families opening Christmas presents. Well think again, this is one of the most violent times of the year. Depression, suicide, anxiety, dept, spousal abuse, all rise around the holidays. No one is safe!!! There are serial killers dressed as Santa ready to kill anyone who is naughtey! (*thunder crack)

Title: Black Christmas

Year: 1974

Director: Bob Clark

Cast: Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, Keir Dullea, John Saxon, Marian Waldman

Rated R

Running Time: 1hr. 38mins.

My Review: This movie is considered to be a horror classic. With high ratings on IMDB, and Rotten Tomato. I had never heard of this movie until I set up this week trilogy. So is it any good? Short answer, no... no it is not. Long answer, this is probably one of the most boring horror movies I've ever seen. The dialogue is bad, really bad. It feels as if the screenwriter was never allowed to swear, but got the chance in this screenplay, so he went nuts! yeah, I can say "fuck", and "shit" this is going to be a R rating for sure, I hope my parents don't see this movie. The story and twist are just plain predictable and stupid. Well, some might say "no it's not predictable, because this was one the first movies to use this twist ending." Well I would say to them. Yes, that's true, but, the story is so badly written, and edited, that you see it coming before it happens. And the fact that killer is never identified or seen, and he has no motive for doing what he's doing. He's just killing to kill, he was bored, nothing to do, I'll just go and make prank phone calls and kill some sorority girls. 0 out of 10 obsean phone calls

Title: Silent Night, Deadly Night

Year: 1984

Director: Charles E. Sellier Jr.

Cast: Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Robert Brian Wilson, Britt Leach, Nancy Borgenicht, Toni Nero, Linnea Quigley

Rated R

Running Time: 1hr. 24mins.

My Review: This has a very great story for why there is a killer dressed as Santa Claus. It's about a boy who see's his parents murdered by a guy dressed as Santa, and Santa will punish those who are naughty, so he grows up to fullfill his deepest fears of killing who he thinks are being naughty. The movie was just executed very poorly. With bad dialogue and, bad acting. The kills were pretty sweet, but tame for today's standards. I'd say this one was my favorite out of the three, just campy fun. 5 out of 10 Santa's with axes

Title: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Year: 2010

Director: Jalmari Helander

Cast: Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Tommi Korpela, Rauno Juvonen, Per Christian Ellefsen, Ilmari Jarvenpaa, Peeter Jakobi

Rated R

Running Time: 1hr. 24mins.

My Review: This has a very interesting story plot. What if the story of Santa was a misinterpreted legend? Instead of a story to make kids happy, it was told to make them scared to be good. But it's not just a legend. Centuries ago Santa was captured and buried under a mountain, to keep the people save from his murderous habits. Sounds pretty cool right? Well, not really. It has great potential to be really awesome, but I didn't see them use it. Without giving too much away, when I realized that the movie was almost over, I was very disappointed, because it was just starting to get good. 4 out of 10 pieces of wood taped to your butt.